Why.......

do I need to justify or explain what I am doing to you or to anyone.  What does it matter what I am doing or not doing as long as it doesn't effect you in anyway.  I feel like more and more I have to explain what I am doing to others and it is pissing me off.  You would swear that these things that I once did and are trying to do again is thing that are out of character for my personality.

I feel like saying what I am really thinking, which is that I am trying to get back what I have lost of myself along the way by being a wife and mother all these years.  I have lost what makes me happy, what makes me me.  I somehow along the way stopped doing things like reading, writing and all the other things that I have forgotten.  Things that have been shoved aside and replaced with cooking and cleaning, taking care of the kids etc.

Don't get me wrong wouldn't changed a thing, well maybe I would of liked to of made sure that I made time for myself each day even if it was only something small.   But like most mothers we sacrifice our own happiness or replace it with other things and other people, like our kids.  Then when they become old enough to do things for themselves or entertain themselves we don't know what to do with our new found time.

Why should I feel like I have to justify trying to find something that makes just me happy?