Tuesday, November 3, 2015


do I need to justify or explain what I am doing to you or to anyone.  What does it matter what I am doing or not doing as long as it doesn't effect you in anyway.  I feel like more and more I have to explain what I am doing to others and it is pissing me off.  You would swear that these things that I once did and are trying to do again is thing that are out of character for my personality.

I feel like saying what I am really thinking, which is that I am trying to get back what I have lost of myself along the way by being a wife and mother all these years.  I have lost what makes me happy, what makes me me.  I somehow along the way stopped doing things like reading, writing and all the other things that I have forgotten.  Things that have been shoved aside and replaced with cooking and cleaning, taking care of the kids etc.

Don't get me wrong wouldn't changed a thing, well maybe I would of liked to of made sure that I made time for myself each day even if it was only something small.   But like most mothers we sacrifice our own happiness or replace it with other things and other people, like our kids.  Then when they become old enough to do things for themselves or entertain themselves we don't know what to do with our new found time.

Why should I feel like I have to justify trying to find something that makes just me happy?

Monday, October 12, 2015

I am not left handed..........

I am right handed and you don't realize just how much you do with one hand over the other.  I hurt my should awhile back, doctor said that I was to take it easy and not to use that arm.  Well easier said then done, hence the problem.

I was in the shower, trying to wash my hair.  Lots of fun, NOT.  In the end it felt like I wash only half my hair.  Not even sure I got all the soap out.  Talk about awkward.

Sitting here typing, no problem can use both hands/ arms, but if I was to go for my mouse with my right hand, I look like the Thing from the Munster, using my fingers to walk my hand over to the mouse.

In bed it is like waking up with your arm asleep not being about to move it with out using the other hand to do so.  It would be funny if it didn't hurt so much.

It has been months of this and I thought I was getting better, hadn't had a issue in a couple weeks.  Boy was I wrong.  All it took was to clean out two cupboards, wash the two shelves and paint it and boom back to all the paint and lack of motion with it. grrrrr

Doing things with my left hand takes way longer and more concentration and patience that I do not have.  Guess I am just too independent for my own good.  Would rather do it myself then to ask someone to do it for me.

Not sure how I am going to managed the rest of my fall cleaning and decluttering at this rate.  Oh and Christmas around the corner after that, don't even what to think about how I am going to get that done.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Ideas come at all the wrong times....

Don't you just hate that.  Let me explain.

Ideas come to me when I am suppose to be sleeping, in the shower, when I am out and about running errands, and just anytime I don't have a moment to write it down or have paper on me to.  Now that isn't the totally truth my cell phone has a voice recorder app, I could just leave a recording like I do for my gym workouts, (time, distance, calories).   But I am never alone and I sure as hell not going to try and explain what I am doing to someone just so they can look at me like I am crazy.  They just don't get it.

 It is frustrating to me to not be able to get these awesome thoughts out and down on paper or online, like I am doing now.  I am currently distracting myself from some work that is being down that is driving me crazy.  Getting off topic here, I do that alot too. lol  That and like now or should I say before, I got interrupted and had to walk away from my post.  Now I am not sure where this train of thought was taking me.

Bottom line I love to write about things, some random thoughts provoked from a line in a song or from seeing or thinking of something random.  Yes after all these years of being a mother and still one I do have a brain left.  See another great post idea that I won't get too, barely finding time to finish this one. sigh